Talking and Listening



Have you ever noticed that when you need to chew over an idea, at a certain point you might start to tell people about it? You talk it through, test for reactions, watch facial expressions and maybe take advice from people about your idea. You refine the idea each time you discuss it, explaining it gets easier as you rehearse it.

To begin with you might be selective about the people that you tell. You might share a part of your idea and hold some of it back. Talking is part of the sharing process but the biggest most important part of what you are doing is listening. Listening to yourself articulate something new.

Everytime you tell a bit of your story about decision making or your hopes for the future or fears or regrets or happy reminiscences, you are talking outloud to yourself. You might be reminding yourself why you didn't take that particular job offer or why you did, why you won't be going to that party - or will be. The sharing of our stories grounds us in our sense of who we are, have been and want to be. Story telling is a natural and ancient human urge, it unites collectives and defines us as individuals.

We talk about the past to get a handle on it and to make sense of events. When I work with people one to one, I focus mainly on their desires for the future. I know that the past has a huge impact on the future at an individual level. Important for me to understand my client's contexts but more importantly essential for my client to have the chance to see their past and to see themselves located in their past. When we reflect upon our past and take ownership for the choices we made, we free ourselves for our futures. We can only understand and start to see the truth of our stories through retelling them and listening to ourselves tell them. Telling our stories gives us power over them, as our perceptions change we understand ourselves more deeply and give ourselves permission to try for something different. We find self acceptance and healing through conversing with our past self.

My role as a coach and creative teacher is to help you to listen to you by making the time and space for you to tell your story.  I ask questions you may not have asked yourself. I hold up a conversational mirror so that you can see yourself and situations differently. I don't judge or advise or ask you why. I listen and help you to recognise unhelpful echoes from the past and make a clearing for new. When you are ready, together, we consider and write your story the way you truly want it to be, chapter by chapter.

I would be delighted to help you make your life a real page turner...